If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a lot of stuff going on at any given moment. There’s work to be done, Team Liquid ESEX dollars to spend, and Arteezy fan fiction to be written. Between all of that and playing Dota far more than any responsible person should, there simply isn’t time for everything. Unfortunately, I find myself falling behind on the single most important part of living an eSports life: who we hate this week.
I mean really, c’mon guys. I was just getting behind the TobiWan hate, and now it’s gone and switched to Zyori, and MLG seems to be poised to take the hate stage again as of today. I just can’t keep up, and I know that many of you feel the same way. Therefore, I come to you not with a plea for fairness, or a reminder that our favorite casters, players, and personalities are people, too. We all know that they’re not, anyway; they are greedy bastards who sit behind their desks twiddling their thumbs as they rake in all that dirty eSports money to bathe themselves in later. As we, the humble masses, cry pleas for improvement, for fair compensation for the money we don’t pay to watch games on Twitch, and for a chance to have our voice heard on important issues like Zyori’s dreadlocks and Ayesee’s vocal volume, those we ask help from laugh and continue to err.
However, not everyone is on the same page. There is confusion among our ranks, dissent where there should be unity. It’s not any individuals fault, really. The movement of our holy crusade is just too swift for some stragglers, myself included, to keep up. Therefore, in order for us to all be supportive of a single cause so that we may truly better eSports, I present to you a proposal for the “/r/dota2 Love & Hate Cycle”:
The premise is simple, really. This flow chart will allow us to correctly direct our love and hate on a weekly basis by rotating our target every week. The outer ring represents the clockwise path of targets to whom we should direct our love, while the inner ring represents the counter-clockwise path of hate. By following this chart, each organization will have their equal share of love and hate, and there will be no more confusion as to which deserves what in any given week.
Now of course there are times when certain individuals need to be praised or hated by name. Therefore, for the sake of variation and specificity, I propose the following: every fifth week, we spin the dial below, and that person will receive either a hate or a love thread, alternating every cycle. For example, if we land on DeMoN the first time, we will start with a hate thread. If the second time through we land on Draskyl, it will be a love thread. Repeat ad infinitum:
By following this simple strategy, there will no longer be confusion regarding love and hate in /r/dota2, and busy people like myself will be able to accurately keep up with the hivemind and direct our emotions to the deserving targets. I hope we can get behind this as a community and really come together to love and hate our way to a better world for eSports.
Written by White Elephant Hills
Writer for WhatIsHip.TV. Follow me @WEHdota, or drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.